The smell of chicken, beans, and warm tortillas filled the air as Daxter Bytsko ’26 opened the door into Stevenson’s Sexual and Gender Alliance Club’s (SAGA) celebration for National Coming Out Day. For Bytsko and others, the event was not just a moment to help reflect on and celebrate the coming out journey, but it was also one where they could listen to others with similar yet different paths through coming out.
The journey of coming out continues to be a milestone for many LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly during high school. A study from the Pew Research Center found that the median age at which many members of the LGBTQ+ community become certain of their sexual orientation is around 17.
To share this journey, SAGA welcomed Lake County Clerk Anthony Vega to share his insights on navigating identity and its impact on both personal and professional life. As the first gay and Latino countywide politician in the Lake County area, Vega’s experiences offer a unique perspective on the challenges of embracing one’s true self in the public eye.
“I didn’t come out to my mom until I was in college, I think around 21,” Vega said. “ I thought my mom was going to be the most supportive person because that’s how my mom has always been that way, but when I came out to her, it was a very negative reaction. My dad, who I thought was going to have the worst reaction, actually had the best reaction.”
A review of sexual minority literature published by the National Library of Medicine finds that one-third of youth experience parental acceptance, another third experience parental rejection, and the remaining third do not disclose their sexual orientation even by their late teenage years and early twenties. After Vega’s presentation, Bytsko reflected on its own experience as a teen in the LGBTQ+ community since eighth grade.
“At first, it was really just experimenting with different pronouns,” Bytsko said. “It was a very slow pipeline of just transitioning more and more away from my assigned gender at birth.”
Bytsko’s identity was something people came to understand gradually, but being from a conservative background made discussing with family more challenging. For Bytsko, navigating through cultural norms and values required patience and understanding from both sides.
“I speak Russian which is a very gendered language and almost every sentence you use, you have to use pronouns,” Bytsko said. “It took them a while to come around, now at least they’re pretty good at calling me Dax and using it in Russian.”
Bytsko understands the difference in pronoun usages between languages, and hopes that friends and family are able to acknowledge Bytsko properly regardless. Rebecca Torres ’25 feels that her family, along with the school and administration have helped her in the process to acknowledge and recognize her personal identity properly.
“As long as you have your parents’ permission, you’re able to get your school name and school email changed, even without having it legally changed,” Torres said. “Teachers have to refer to you by your correct name and pronouns if you tell them to.”
Torres feels that this shift in procedure mirrors a broader effort to make society more inclusive. For example, Vega notes that immediately after entering office he worked to implement a law that enabled the non-binary gender marker to be included in the voter registration process. Vega explains that a few election judges, or poll workers, didn’t understand or support the inclusion of gender options, yet he worked hard to reach his goal of creating a welcoming and inclusive environment for all voters. Bytsko notes that being in the LGBTQ+ community may cause challenges, like Vegas, in the future.
“Even though politics is not necessarily what I want to be doing in the future, it’s kind of eye opening in a way to know those a part of the LGBTQ+ community, who have campaigned, go through these struggles,” Bytsko said. “It makes me think of whether I will have to go through that in the future as well.”
The increasing visibility of LGBTQ+ individuals in high profile positions, Bytsko explains, reflects hope and change. It also shows the increasing need for support systems to navigate these experiences. Due to similar teens lacking a support system, the Pinta Pride Project was founded in 2018.
Carolyn Pinta, the organizer, explains that the Pinta Pride Project was started by Molly Pinta ’24, her daughter, who had just come out at age 12 and wanted to help celebrate and normalize the LGBTQ+ community, and kids who were not receiving the love and support that she did on her own journey through events and awareness. Pinta hopes that with increased representation and awareness, which Vega fights for as well, all people will feel more welcome to embark on their identity journey.
“The accepting culture has vastly shifted from when I was in high school,” Vega said. “I didn’t feel that I could come out in high school, and so it’s very empowering now to see how welcoming a lot of school districts are.”
A culture of acceptance and self-love, as Vega highlights, can be the difference between someone feeling confident to explore their identity and feeling isolated and alone. Building on this, Bytsko offers a message of encouragement for anyone who is struggling to find their identity.
“I believe that you are who you are, you’re always valid, no matter what you identify as,” Bytsko said. “Whatever you do, stay safe because you are loved, and you should be here.”